On Loneliness
by Mint Cherise
Summary: Momiji is feeling dejected one night, and walks the busy streets of downtown. What will happen when he walks into a curious cafe, that he quickly discovers is a 'Gay' hangout?
1. Chapter 1

Height wise he was now like any other male. He'd grown at least a foot from when they had first met, so she couldn't see him as a kid anymore. She couldn't, but somehow she still did. Was it the way he dressed? Or just his whimsical nature? The connection he had with that brown haired angel was strictly 'friendship.' It couldn't evolve into anything more, because Tohru had Kyo. She already had someone else.

Momiji drug himself along the shop buildings, with hands in his coat pockets. It was too late to be thinking about Tohru, love, or loneliness. Yet, those were the only things that kept his feet moving slowly down the nighttime sidewalk. She was always on his mind, like some stupid pop song pressed on repeat. And when he wasn't thinking about Tohru, his mother's image formed, blurry and distant. His father and sister made her smile, but not Momiji, not the boy she wanted so much to forget. All Momiji got from her was a stranger's smile, useless but warm.

The blond didn't know where he was going. He just needed to find somewhere to end the loneliness ripping in his stomach. There had to be some way to stop what his mask always hid. It was like the night knew all of his secrets, so therefore he could frown. The night wouldn't be bothered by his pain, because that was all the night really was; a frenzy of pain and hopelessness. It was a cure for anyone not knowing what to do.

People wandered around him, most being hyped up teenagers ready to rave and perhaps find a presentable hookup. Momiji took care to stray away from any zealous girls, because he didn't feel like transforming into a rabbit at the moment. He was so desperate though, for any form of comfort. He needed arms around him for longer than a few seconds. There had to be someone who could perhaps help in filling up a part of himself, even just for a night.

_What was he thinking?_

Momiji wasn't exactly sure what his urges were telling him. Here he was, an area buzzing with activity and opportunity, but what for? Hatori-san may already have figured out he was gone, but it wasn't like the older man would be too worried. No one would be worried about the blond youth, except for her. She'd seen him cry. She knew.

It was far too much. Momiji rushed into a small café to his left, and took in the calming aura. There was an amateur singer performing a somber piece, with only her guitar and her voice as modems to convey. It was perfect, so much that the boy stood at the door, caught among the woman's lyrics.

_Such a sad cadence,_

_For a room of people to hear,_

_But what does it mean, oh, what does it mean?_

_How do I make sense of this thing?_

_Need an escape from anything today,_

_Lend me a hand?_

_Or just a few minutes_

_Lend me a person to love._

_Lend me a reason to love._

_Or just a few minutes_

_Or just a few minutes_

_Of Love._

A voice from behind him interrupted the song that had stolen Momiji's attention. "Staring at Emi's beauty, huh newcomer?"

Momiji turned around with opened mouthed surprise. Behind him, under the threshold of the café, was a dark haired boy, about nineteen or so.

"I was just listening! You know, it's such a nice song!" he hastily explained.

The other brushed a hand through his stunning black hair, "Good, she doesn't swing that way if you know what I mean kid."

"Uh, she doesn't like boys?" He stared, utterly clueless and brought his hands up to his mouth.

"Yeah, basically. Don't look so shocked, really."

Momiji brought his hands down and let them hover against his chest. "Oh no! I'm not shocked. It's fine, perfectly!"

The black haired boy remained quiet for a few seconds, scrutinizing Momiji as well as the dim café would allow. For those seconds, Momiji felt utterly captivated by icy blue eyes. It was a sensational rush. It made everything fall into place, and let the memories seep through comfortably. No more throbbing, none of those pangs, simply enthrallment.

"That's good. This place really isn't the place for anyone who gets shocked by that kind of stuff."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the café's called 'Curiosity Pending', that's self explanatory."

Momiji tilted his head in confusion. 'Curious-ity Pen-ding'? What in the world was the other talking about?

"You're a slow one." The black haired boy sighed, shrugging. "Anyways, I'll tell you over coffee or something, because we're letting out the warm air. It's fucking cold out here."

"Okay." Momiji said, moving out of the other's way so that he could enter the café. The boy walked inside and closed the door behind him as the song became slow in its ending.

_A cheap room for love to linger_

_This is where, this is how_

_And tonight there's not a trace of care_

_As you_

_Lend me a person to love_

_Lend me a reason to love_

_Just a few minutes_

_Ticking minutes_

_And it's gone._

"Snap out of Emi's trance my dear boy. It's over."

Momiji looked up at the other dazedly. "Oh, sorry."

"Not a problem. Everyone can't help but listen when she sings." He shrugged again, "So, let's go get something to drink."

The blond followed the other, wondering so many things at once. He wanted to know why that song still sung in his chest achingly. And also, what had possessed him to stay here, when he should have just left and gone home. Perhaps it was his own curiosity, which was raised by the stranger leading him to a little table left of the stage. The woman was no longer there, and the mellow crowd seemed to be awaiting a new performer and regretting the loss of an old one.

They arrived at the circular table, and then sat down accordingly. Momiji sat across from the other, slightly intimidated by him yet completely in awe.

"It's busy tonight, damn. Someone will probably come and get our orders in half an hour, so let's pass the time and chat, kid." The black haired youth put his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his palms.

"Sure, sounds good." Momiji chimed enthusiastically.

The other smiled slightly. "Well, I'll start with my name then. It's Rene. What about you?"

"Um, Re-Ne, my name is Momiji."

"What is that, German?"

"Jes!"

"So that's why you look so weird."

Momiji giggled, and put his hands on the back of his head playfully. "Heh, yeah. I get that lots."

The other chuckled, putting his hand against his mouth as he did so. "Do you now? Well, it's good weird."

"That is good then! Thank you."

"Your welcome." He paused, seeming to be musing over something. "So do you really not know what 'Curiousity Pending' means? You just walked in here at random?"

"Yup, I have no idea where I'm at."

"Well, then I guess I'll explain. There's not much to it though. This is, simply, a café for gays, lesbians, in betweens, and whatever else's. Thus the title, 'Curiousity Pending'.

The name made some sense now that Rene had explained it. It wasn't like Momiiji felt any different about it though. There wasn't anything wrong with males liking males or females liking females. If he looked down on it, he would be just like the people who looked down on the Sohma's curse. The only reason for contempt was ignorance of what one held in contempt. Momiji would never be that kind of person.

"Oh, okay." He smiled pleasantly. "I get it now."

Rene narrowed his eyes. "So what are you?"

Momiji shifted, still smiling. "Excuse me?"

"Are you gay, a lesbian, an in between, or whatever else?"

"I guess I would be a whatever else probably or a lesbian. What do you think?"

"I don't know. You might be a lesbian. Want to find out Momiji?"

So fast was his beating heart that Momiji couldn't breathe. This person in front of him was someone who he knew nothing about. Rene knew nothing about him in turn. The other knew nothing of Tohru, his unspoken love. He couldn't know, or that would crash one world into an entirely different one. If Rene didn't know, this place would stay separate, like a little dream. Such a peculiar little dream.

The blond shook away his racing mind and played oblivious. "What are you talking about sil-?"

Before he could finish, Rene had leaned across the table and grabbed hold of Momiji's face between his hands. For an instant the other looked straight into Momiji's eyes, and then he followed through with the kiss, and gave a gentle, soft secret onto the blond's lips.

It had happened like a zephyr, and ended abruptly as the other pulled away. Rene crossed his arms and sat down, as if he hadn't just stolen Momiji's first kiss.

"So what are you kid?"

He put two fingers lightly against his bottom lip. "I think my curiosity is pending."

And then a waitress walked up to the table, notepad in hand, asking what drinks the two boys' would like that cold, lonely night. A night that had, in fact, made both of the boys a bit warmer, and a tad bit less lonely.


	2. Chapter 2

The waitress scribbled down the boys' order, Rene having ordered mocha coffee and Momiji a mug of hot coco. As she bustled off to the next table, another woman headed towards them. She was petite, her red strapless dress accenting her girlish shape to the best of its abilities. Momiji immediately recognized her as being the woman who had been performing just a few minutes before.

With her hands on her hips she approached the table. "Rene Suzuki! What did I tell you about hitting on innocent little boys! It's not nice and it's not legal."

Momiji blushed, and automatically brought his hand up to his mouth.

The black haired youth snapped back, "Jeez Emi, we were just talking. He was asking about this place so I told him. That was it." Rene pouted, feigning innocence.

"I saw you kiss him twerp." She turned away from a rebuked Rene and towards the blond boy. "So sorry about Rene's horrible manners. He probably was trying to take advantage of a poor kid like you. No, he doesn't have any candy or missing kittens, so you should leave while you have the chance."

"Eh?" Momiji was baffled at what was going on. This eccentric lady had been the one singing that song? She had seemed so mellow and void of any emotion, but now was on a fierce rampage of some sort.

Rene rubbed his forehead in exasperation, "Please Emi. You're making me sound like some old pervert."

"Eighteen is old enough to be a pervert."

"Oh you're eighteen?" Momiji questioned Rene, forgetting about the ongoing argument for a moment.

"Yeah, as of last week."

Emi wouldn't relent. "And how old are you dear?" she questioned the blond boy.

"His name's Momiji, it sounds creepy when you call him dear. You sound like a real pervert. You know, like the ones on TV?"

"Shut up! I'm only twenty." She smacked Rene on the head, and then turned back to a wide eyed Momiji. "Anyways, so how old are you Momiji dear? Fourteen? Fifteen?"

Momiji smiled, "I am seventeen years!" He laughed at the other incredulous faces, feeling a bit down. Well, he had grown at least a foot over the last year. He couldn't still look that childish, could he?

Emi pushed her pixyish black hair behind her ear, "Well, color me totally freaken surprised. Rene, this one's almost legal."

Rene frowned. "You're making it sound like I hookup with every cute guy I see on the street."

The woman sighed, crossing her arms. "Momiji, he's a bit sensitive, isn't he? But I'm just playing with him of course," she pulled at the black haired boy's cheek, "He's a sweetheart with a broken heart, ever since Michael-"

"Be quiet already!" the boy snapped, slapping her hand away.

Momiji stared at the two as they held a conversation with their eyes. Emi seemed to be imploring Rene to do something, and Rene was telling her to not mention it. This was part of Rene's world, and Momiji knew quite well he shouldn't inquire. Like Tohru was separate from these people, whoever Michael was, he was separate from Momiji. That seemed to be the unspoken rule in the little café. Here was the place were outside lives didn't follow. Of course, it wasn't made to forget about things, because that was something Momiji wouldn't do. The café was made to put everything outside on pause. That was what the blond boy felt at least.

When it seemed like the staring feud would outlast the night, another guest arrived at the table. She was even smaller than Emi, and had her brown hair tied back in short little pigtails. "Emi, I want to dance." She said simply, tugging at the woman's arm.

"Oh, Sara-chan." Emi replied, reluctantly looking away from Rene. "Yeah, let's go." She grabbed hold of her lover's hand and gave a glare to Rene. "This isn't over, got it?"

The boy ignored her, and she turned away and followed the pigtailed girl onto the dance floor. Momiji listened to the song for a moment, but didn't find enough raw emotion in the lyrics. It was a good song none the less.

"Emi's a friend of mine just for reference." Rene murmured, uncrossing his arms to stretch in the chair.

Momiji looked towards the woman, who was dancing closely with her companion. "She's interesting. And it seems like she cares about you."

"Yeah." He looked down towards the tabletop, and then up again at the blond boy. "And I'm not a pervert, just so you know. That damned girl just says that because she's kind of psycho. Most good artist are, anyhow."

"So she's a good psycho, like I'm a good weird?" inquired Momiji.

"Something like that."

The two remained quiet as the singer on stage finished up his song. It wasn't an awkward silence though, more like the kind of silence produced from two people trying to connect somehow. When the song was over, gentle claps ensued, and then Rene rose from his chair, gently smiling down at Momiji.

"I was sort of worried when I walked in here today. I came without a piece to perform, but you've helped me out allot, kid. I just wish my coffee got here before I had to go up."

Once again Momiji was completely at a loss. The other was talking about what now? Wait, he had said 'perform', which meant he must be going up on stage. So that had to mean he was a singer?! Interesting, this place was exactly that. It was wonderfully interesting. "Good luck, Re-Ne!" Momiji asserted, eyes sparkling.

The boy's face flushed, and his smile dissolved into an embarrassed frown. "Thanks." He said, right before rushing to the stage before they scratched his name off the list.

Momiji was eager to hear the other sing. He didn't know exactly what Rene had meant by saying that Momiji had helped him out with his piece, but it was still nonetheless exciting to watch the other go up onto the stage and ready his instrument. The girls had made their way back to the table and sat down as Momiji stared up and Rene expectantly.

"Staring at Rene's beauty, huh?" chirped Emi.

The blond giggled, "That's exactly what he said about you, you know."

"Did he now?"

"Yup. And then he said you don't swing my way!"

"Well, you've got that right," The black haired woman gave Sara an affectionate kiss on the lips, "But I can't say that about him. He defiantly swings your way, dear. And I hope," she paused, "that you swing his way too. Rene needs someone, no matter how much he denies it."

Momiji stared at the woman, a glint of sorrow entering his eyes. He wouldn't be able to help the other in love. There was no way he could ever love Rene. Not because he was a boy, that little fact didn't matter. What mattered was his heart belonged to a girl who'd already given her heart away to someone else. Really, how did one go about mending a thing like that? There wasn't a way to. Momiji just had to figure out how to smile still. He had to fight to smile, so how could he even dream of loving?

The music began to play softly, and then Rene's voice echoed, barely being able to be confined by the walls.

I'd like to start this story with

'Once there was…'

But then I might remember something

About him.

Solely somber

It's hard to be the past

Really reckless

My heart's in a cast

Let's start with, Lets start with

A 'Currently I'm alone'

Not much to my name

And I have really bad attitude

I know

Not great attributes

But somehow today

Things don't suck as much

It's a little blessing but kind of unnerving

To have to say such and such just to make enough

Conversation

Only this time it's worth it, Only this time I want it

Let's start with, Let's start with

A 'Currently I'm alone'

Not much to my name

And I have really bad attitude

I know

Not great attributes

I know but please

I don't know

What in the world

I'm asking.

But please please

Only this time let it be worth it, only this time want it

I don't know

What in the world

I'm asking for.

The song ended, leaving half the room clapping and the other half knowing that Rene had come up with that on the spot. "That was kind of crappy, and yet kind of sweet." Emi commented, and Sara nodded in agreement. "It had horrible rhythm, and no meter whatsoever. But it was performed lovely, as Rene always manages to do."

Momiji was quiet as the girls chatted together. He couldn't think at all, it was like he couldn't breath. This place was closing in on him, engulfing him. The blond boy stood up, looking sick. The girl's eyes shot up at him, wondering what was wrong with him.

"I have to go. Please tell Rene I'll be back tomorrow." He said to Emi. Before she could reply he rushed away from the girls, the stage, and out of the café, until he was down the street and leaning against a bookstore window. Everything about the night had been peculiar. The most peculiar thing being, he had meant what he said. He would come back to the café tomorrow, for a reason he didn't really know.

"Like, love. Two different things." Momiji whispered, as he hugged himself tightly. That was an axiom he would need to remember.


End file.
